Sunday, July 10, 2011

Craigslist missed connection update

Based on what I wrote in my missed connection, you'd think I'd man up if I ever saw Craigslist girl again. Well, today at around 1:30 p.m., I saw her again. And this story has a typical ending: I didn't say anything.

To be fair, I was fast-walking to the green line, already 2 hours late meeting some Yale friends for the Moma PS1 concert series. I was on Houston street, right outside the F subway station. I heard her before I saw her -- that slightly grating, nasally voice. She was with a friend. Her hair was longer and thicker than I remembered it. She was also wearing a pair of sunglasses covering her entire face, which is why, after she walked past me, I kept did a double take.

The crucial moment was literally right after I realized it was her. She was already 10 feet away, growing smaller in the distance, and instead of running up to her, I thought, "What am I going to say if I do?" The thought froze me. After 15 seconds, I realized I needed to just make it up on the spot, but it was a little too late. The subway, the restaurants on the block -- all red herrings. (I looked.) So that ends that saga, part 2. I'm going to make sure that part 3 has a happy ending, somehow.


When you talk to someone for the first time, you can make three types of comments. You can (a) ask for information (b) make a statement or (c) commiserate with a situation.

In terms of more "PUA" lingo, there are 6 types of openers: the banal question; the situational comment; the opinion question; the no-open-er; the screening question; and the direct-funny statement. I won't go into them, if only because my YDN article does a pretty good job breaking it down.

But let's do a little brainstorming. Keep in mind she wasn't wearing anything differentiating -- no huge rings; no knee brace; no grocery bag. I had no excuse to say anything. Which makes it harder. Regardless, here's what I could have done:


Asked for directions / subway / ATM machine
Asked for a recommendation for a good restaurant / fro-yo place / barber
Asked for advice on clothes (my green pants) / my hair / my shoelaces
Complimented her on her glasses / hair / posture
Introduced myself ("Hi, excuse me? Can you come over here? (Please?) I want to talk to you. Hi, I'm Peter.")

Intro (wacky):

Ask her to count the number of fingers on my hands.
"Do I look gay in these pants? And shoes? (If you were a guy, would you be down to hit on me?)"
"Where did you get those shades? I want to get my grandmother the same pair."
Start walking with them. "I just really like the pace you guys walk at."
"You guys look like old wise men of this area. Where can I get a nose ring?"
Run up to them and give them a big hug.
"Are you guys twins?" (obviously not). "Oh. Well, your earlobes look the same."


Tell her she's adorable
Ask her if she goes to school around here
Compliment her on her general aura / accessories / clothing
Tell a story. (about Moma; about the subway system; about cell phone text messaging costs)
Let her know someone posted a missed connection about her.
The John Song approach: let her know I've seen her two times and simply couldn't pass on the opportunity again.


Tell her about myself. Connect about our shared humanity.


Tell her we need to hang out. That she's intriguing. (Though, isn't everyone?)

1 comment:

  1. from now on, why don't you print out a copy of your missed connection post (which was lovely btw) with your phone number on it and carry it with you wherever you go?

    like some reminder breathing by your skin not to give up these chances

    of course, you're likely not to see her so easily once you're actually going to be prepared 'cause the universe is funny but one day, crinkled paper in hand, you can tell your friends/kids/dogs why they shouldn't give up on talking to strangers... TWICE

    PETER LU!! everyday battles, man, everyday battles